This week was tough. I only have room to tell you about three cancellations, but there is so much to cancel. So, watch what you say and watch what you do, or soon enough the mob will come after you.
1. Blood Transfusions. It’s astounding that the government allows people to share each other’s blood. I mean, yes, it’s a medical necessity, but hospitals don’t even tell you who’s blood you’re getting. What if I’m getting a blood transfusion from a Nazi, or worse, a Trump supporter? No way! Blood transfusions need to stop. Now. Because until you know exactly who’s blood you're getting, you can never be sure that you’re not part Nazi too.
2. BBQ. Besides being the literal flesh of a once living, breathing animal, BBQ is also a mark of the patriarchy. Have you ever seen a BBQ advertisement marketed towards women? Me neither. That’s because big grill companies want men to do the cooking. The patriarchy has taken one of the only things women are good at and they stole that too. Women, it’s time to take back what’s yours, so get out there and get INTO the kitchen for a change.
3. Anteaters. Ants are the perfect animal. They live in a utopian society where women are queen and all the men work for them. Everyone knows their role and works equally towards the betterment of the society. Needless to say, anteaters work to destroy that society. Anteaters are to ants what the republicans are to the American dream. They destroy it. Anteaters have to go.