Twitter wins Nobel Prize in Censorship, beats out China, North Korea

The Nobel Committee has announced the creation of a new prize. The Nobel Prize in Censorship will be awarded to companies, countries, or people who show “exemplary achievement in efforts to reduce the spread of content that is obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable.” Coincidentally, the wording exactly matches the wording of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act.

The Nobel Prize in Censorship was created after Nobel Committee Members noticed a disturbing rise in free speech across Western nations. “We simply could not allow the common rabble to spread lies and objectionable content. Can you imagine a world where every idea is given equal credence and judged by its merits? There would be no social justice. There would be no progressivism. What an awful place the world would be,” said one committee member, who wished to remain anonymous.

Twitter is the first winner of the Prize, and CEO Jack Dorsey traveled to Stockholm, Sweden to accept the prize last week. During his acceptance speech, an irate Kanye West interrupted, grabbing the microphone and saying, “Ima let you finish, but China is actually doing some of the best censorship of all time.”