Trump settles for invisible fence

U.S./MEXICO BORDER - President Trump announced this week that after four long years, the U.S. border wall is now complete. Critics were quick to point out that there were still hundreds of un-fenced miles along the Rio Grande.

That's when the president pulled out a small black remote and said "Oh, really?"

With one click of a button, Trump explained that he had just lit up the invisible fence on the border that would shock and paralyze any interlopers crossing without the proper authorization.

"It's the same technology we used on the First Dog, Rover, before we accidentally turned the voltage too high," said the President, "But spread across a great distance by Space Force satellite mirrors or something. My scientists tell me it's the best technology, that nobody has this kind of technology, not even China."

"I wouldn't be too concerned," whispered Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Chad Wolf, "it's just my garage door opener with the button painted red."