Trump nominates himself to Supreme Court

WASHINGTON - Donald Trump has chosen to fill justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s open seat and, in a shock to the betting markets and the national media, he has chosen to nominate himself.

At a press conference last evening, the president declared, “I am here to formally nominate Donald J. Trump as the next associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America.” The president continued off the teleprompter, “I know, I’ve heard what the fake news media has been saying, what CNN’s been saying. But I am one hundred percent fit to be a Supreme Court justice, and we will be making the Supreme Court great again!”

Press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany answered questions following the announcement, telling reporters the president intends to run for president this November while sitting on the court.

The announcement sent social media ablaze. The View host Whoopi Goldberg tweeted, “Donald Trump is insane if he thinks he can sit on the supreme court and run for president. How can he rule on a contested election where he is one of the participants? He is literally Hitler.”

Thousands more tweets rang out in unison decrying the nomination as an egregious affront to the system of checks and balances. The hashtag #BlackRobesMatter was trending as liberals brigaded the site with posts comparing President Trump to a racist cop. Tweets swarmed in calling him a fascist, a tyrant, a racist, and said he had no respect for America or the Constitution. So, nothing really new.

When asked his qualifications by Bob Woodward in a follow-on interview, the President proudly stated that he had "seen every episode of Judge Judy."