• Tom Baker

Sweet Meteor of Death pleads Americans to stop writing him in; wants nothing to do with election

MILKY WAY GALAXY, Outer Space - In an exclusive interview with The Penguin, the Sweet Meteor of Death (SMoD) is keeping his distance from the 2020 United States Presidential Election. “I would like to remain very, very far away” he said from approximately 2.7 million light years away, and expanding.

After watching two septuagenarians argue for months on end, a write in campaign for the SMoD began on social media. It has gained steam among Americans who want to just end it all.

“We deserve the pain,” said the Lee County Masochist Society, “So, so much pain.”

“I don’t know why they keep bringing my name into this” the meteor told us yesterday. “I would just like to go on my merry way, and not have, like, any responsibilities man.”