SNL moved to Tuesday morning after years of low ratings

Saturday Night Live has finally achieved ratings so low it merits a new time-slot. The long-running live “comedy” show reached a record low 600 viewers last weekend, getting beat out by an “Andy Griffith Show” rerun, the annoying children’s show “Caillou,” and an episode of “Friends” without the laugh track. With ratings so incredibly low, NBC executives have had no choice but to move the show’s timeslot to Tuesdays at 10:30 A.M.

Upon hearing the news, producer Lorne Michaels said he would be making some changes to the show. “First off,” he said, “We’re gonna have to make fun of Donald Trump some more. That’s obvious. Who cares if he's not in office anymore” He also said they would be bringing back some old cast members such as Bobby Moynihan and Al Franken to the show. SNL will also be taking a look at bringing back some old sketches. Mr. Michaels thinks they can milk “Celebrity Jeopardy” a few more times and “maybe bring back “Wayne’s World” or something.”

Network executives are unenthused by the changes Mr. Michaels has planned. They believe the show is failing because it is alienating middle America. They plan to replace it with something that will “play better with the type of deplorable scum that actually lives in Kansas or some other crap state.” Producers have pitched a live-action remake of King of the Hill, but network executives are leaning towards just another crappy Tim Allen show.