Simon Peter cuts off ear during mostly peaceful prayer

GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE, ANCIENT ISRAEL - Police detained a man named Simon Peter on allegations he cut off the ear of the high priest's servant during a routine arrest. The encounter occurred late at night when temple police arrived to arrest Jesus of Nazareth, whom Peter was travelling with.

Police arrived after local Pharisees concluded the mostly peaceful prayer session violated curfew, among other offenses. A quick scuffle ensued and one servant was seriously injured when his ear was cut off. Bystanders and viral videos concluded the perpetrator was none other than Simon Peter. Acting quickly, Jesus picked up the man’s ear and healed him on the spot, but was taken into police custody. It was there where he was slain by police brutality, before rising again on the third day.

Peter was initially detained as well, before convincing officers he was not with the group by saying of Jesus, “I do not know the man.” Local media has described the late-night prayer as “mostly peaceful.”