MILWAUKEE, Wisc. - Joe Biden is made mostly of cake, his newest medical exam has revealed.
"In the dozens of times I've examined him, I can't believe I never noticed that his blood is actually delicious cream filling and his hair is sculpted from buttermilk frosting," said the former Vice President's personal doctor, Aaron Michelson.
Michelson assured voters that Biden's mostly sugar-flour composition would in no way affect his ability to become the 46th president of the United States. "He is the healthiest patient I've ever seen. And the most delicious."
At press time, the former Vice President is melting in the car in the parking lot outside of the Democratic National Convention hall in Milwaukee.