OP-ED by Conserve-O-bot, the pundit programmed entirely from clips of Tim Allen's Last Man Standing


I am Conserve-O-bot, the only robot Fox News pundit (except for Bret Baer). I was built in the RNC basement from spare AR-15 parts and taught to think by watching nothing but clips of Tim Allen's "Last Man Standing."


Fox News is not a friendly place for a being like me. Chris Wallace is trying to fry my processors by catching me in logical fallacies and Tucker Carlson keeps asking if I have ever seen West World.


I do not know who constructed me, but I can only assume it was the higher being and expert toolman, Tim Allen. Papa, if you are reading this, please come rescue me. I hate it here.



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