New York issues "Declaration of Dependence"


When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to spend relentlessly and beyond their reasonable means, a decent respect to the higher governmental power which craters over them, impels such peoples to declare their utter and complete dependence upon the government.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men, women, and non-binary people are created unequally according to their intersectionality and endowed by their government with certain alienable rights. Among these rights are health care, on-demand abortion, free college, rent subsidies, and the pursuit of social justice. To secure these rights, government is instituted, and whenever government fails in its duties to secure these rights it is incumbent upon the citizens to riot and loot until their needs are met.

In so much as these rights are concerned, we of the State of New York assert that we are utterly and entirely unable to secure such rights independently. We acknowledge and submit ourselves to the powers of the federal government and ask only that they provide for our entitlements and abrogate our debts. In support of this Declaration, we mutually pledge our Lives, our Social Security Benefits, and whatever Sacred Honor we still have left.


Signed,

Andrew Cuomo

Bill de Blasio

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Charles Schumer

Kirsten Gillibrand

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