Millions flee West Coast along "Reverse Oregon Trail"


OR. - Millions of Oregonites are fleeing their home state after the 2020 elections, The Penguin has learned. Due to decaying infrastructure, road closures, and rolling riots, the settlers have set out along the prairie in long wagon trains to make a better life for their families in the heartland.


"Me and my kin are headed out the Texas way, yup," said software designer Mason Winklevoss, "The journey has been harsh. My wife Susan succumbed to her snakebite injuries and our train has been attacked time and time again by roving bands of ANTIFA rioters."


Winklevoss says that he is determined to press on for the sake of his children Brad, age 9 and Chad, age 11. He wants them to grow up in a free society where people are not assigned a metric of suffering at birth based on their unalterable demographic characteristics, a place where a person is free to carve their own destiny.


"I just hope I can get to Texas before all of the Californian refugees ruin it with the same morally bankrupt and fiscally irresponsible policies that destroyed their own state," said Winklevoss before dying of dysentery.

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