MADDEN CURSE: Kaepernick breaks knees after being added to Madden '21 cover


SAN JOSE, Calif. - Former '49ers Quarterback and current unemployed person, Colin Kaepernick has broken both of his knees, the Penguin has learned. The injury occurred after the activist was announced for the cover of EA's Madden '21 Deluxe Edition, which will hit store shelves in time for the Holiday season.


Doctors are unsure if the damage is a result of an impact injury from chronic kneeling or if Kap's knees have atrophied from multiple seasons on the bench. But experts are in agreement that the infamous "Madden Curse" is to blame.


"I knew I was risking career-ending injury when I agreed to be on that cover," said the mediocre athlete and oppressed, millionaire activist, "But that's just who I am. A hero. A giver."


Seattle Head Coach, Pete Carroll, told the Penguin that The Seahawks would still sign Kaepernick even if he never walks again. "You gotta admire the guy's passion, his rage, his unifying message."


Kaepernick says that he just hopes that America will change from being a capitalistic, racist hell-scape that it is to a place where every little boy, no matter how unathletic or talentless he is, may dream of playing in the NFL.



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