Local veterinarian canceled for insisting dogs can't see color

SANTA MONICA, Calif. - Dr. Kayleigh Blackburn has been practicing animal medicine for 13 years now, so she knows a thing or two about animals. But at a time when we are told so frequently to “follow the science” and “listen to doctors,” her voice is being overlooked. Dr. Blackburn has been harassed, attacked, and boycotted, all just for telling the truth.

It all started just a month ago when Karen Presley, an interior designer from Santa Monica, brought her corgi, Lulu into Little Pupper’s Clinic for an unusual problem. According to Ms. Presley, Lulu had been acting in a racist manner.

“She is a very bad girl. She always barks at my African-American valet, and she almost bit my Mexican gardener, Juan! But of course, she never misbehaves around all my white friends”

Penguin reporters spoke with Juan, the gardener to confirm. “First off, my name’s John. Second, I’m Cuban, but I’ve lived in California my whole life. And third, that dog is a mean S.O.B.; it has nothing to do with race. Maybe if she took fifteen minutes to train that wild animal, it wouldn’t be so mean.”

Dr. Blackburn assured Ms. Presley her dog was not racist and that, in fact, dogs do not see color the same way humans do. Ms. Presley was taken aback and immediately mobilized her twitter followers to organize a boycott of Dr. Blackburn’s veterinary clinic. “I’m ashamed to have ever used such a racist vet. No wonder Lulu is so racist! She got it from her vet. CANCEL LITTLE PUPPER’S NOW!!!” she tweeted.

Since helping to cancel the clinic, Ms. Presley has decided to donate Lulu to “some racist republican family in Kentucky,” saying, “They can have that racist dog. I’m going to get myself a cute little Bichon Frise instead.”