Life on Mars really just clump of cells

HOUSTON, Texas - Scientists were disappointed when a promising discovery turned out to be a wild goose chase. The Curiosity Rover stumbled onto what looked like the first signs of life outside our planet on Wednesday. Sensors in the robot detected what appeared to be a biological mass weighing 7 pounds, 4 ounces.

There was even a detectable heartbeat. Scientists on earth received the data an immediately began analyzing it. “The rover picked up some really promising stuff. We found a full genetic code, DNA, it really looked like we were going to confirm that there is life on Mars,” said Dr. Evelyn Strasburg, a NASA biologist, “but it turned out to just be a clump of cells.”

All of NASA had high hopes when the rover first spotted the mass in its scopes. An exasperated Dr. Strasburg explained, “We were all so hopeful that we would find a single cell organism like an amoeba, or maybe even some sort of fungi or mold, you know. We were looking for life on another planet, not this useless clump of cells.”

NASA scientists cataloged the specimen and determined it was an unborn human fetus at 7 months gestation before discarding the unborn human child in the Martian dust. “You win some, you lose some,” sighed intern Mark Hooper, “Maybe next time we’ll find something worthwhile.