Joe Biden decried as racist for only sniffing white children

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. - Creepy Joe is at it again, but this time, he’s in hot water for sniffing the wrong kids. A detailed analysis by The Penguin investigative team has determined that Joe Biden has sniffed significantly more white children than any other race.

Over the past 36 months, Creepy Joe has been photographed sniffing the head and shoulders of over 432 children from as young as 3 months to 16 years old. Of these 432 encounters, only 6 of the children were African-American, 4 were of Asian descent, and 11 were mixed race. These numbers are significantly lower than they should be if Joe Biden sniffed children at the same rates as they occur in the general population. African Americans make up over 13% of the general population, yet Joe Biden felt it was appropriate that only 1.3% of the children he sniffed over the period of the study were black. He would have to sniff 62 additional black children to close the gap. This is obviously racist, entirely unacceptable, and the general community believes so too.

Protests erupted on the streets in San Francisco after the initial report was published. Picket signs and loudspeakers blared calls for Joe Biden to sniff children at more equitable rates. “Joe Smells of Racism” read one sign. “Black Sniffs Matter” read another.

The Biden campaign refused to respond to questions, but put out a statement assuring supporters the former Vice President would be sniffing significantly more minority children in the coming days.