Jehovah's Witnesses see surge in conversions as people beg to talk about anything but politics


Jehovah’s Witnesses, the church notorious for knocking at your door at inconvenient times and engaging in some of the most awkward conversations possible is seeing a massive surge in conversions as people across America are willing to talk about literally anything other than politics.

The Church saw enrollment jump by 11,000% in October and expects similar rates of conversion all the way the next president is inaugurated. Jedidiah Clearfield, who manages outreach for the entire east coast explained the reason for the massive increase, “All we did was change our pitch a little bit. Now we go to the door and ask, ‘do you have a moment to talk about something other than politics?’ then we hit them with the Jesus Christ stuff after we’re inside. Works like a charm!”

Some new converts were originally wary of the missionaries. Chuck Tyndale, A recent Convert from Milwaukee invited a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses into his home and “I kept thinking it could move into politics at any moment, but they just continued talking about the Bible. I guess I’m going to Bible study with them next week, but it’s better then just watching the news again…”

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