CHICAGO, Ill. – This weekend saw rising tension in the national immigration battle when Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) mistakenly busted 23 Chicago and California church sanctuaries on orders from the federal government.
“Sanctuary cities, sanctuary cities!” lamented Attorney General of the United States, William Barr, “That darned Auto-correct.”
The congregation of Olive Branch Assembly of God did not take the incident so lightly.
“Agents barged in during service and started arresting people,” reveals sixth generation American citizen, Pastor Kevin Lopez, whose family has served in every major U.S. conflict since the Civil War.
Lopez was hauled out of his own church by the American flag tie his son gave him for Father’s Day.
The government quietly released the detained Pentecostals after the Department of Justice realized its error but there has been no formal apology.
“I mean can you blame us for thinking they were illegals? They weren’t even speaking English,” claimed an anonymous agent, referring to the congregation’s fervent prayer and exultation in heavenly tongues.