Husband fails to read in terms and conditions of wife’s “no gifts this year” statement

Portland, Maine - Local husband, Chris James has embarrassed himself when he failed to read in the terms and conditions of his wife’s statement of “let’s not get each other gifts this year.”

The poor fellow is a fairly new husband of only three years. In his defense, his wife, Julie was purposefully vague. “I was testing him. And he failed the test. I wanted to see if would get me a gift anyway because he should know by now that when I say ‘no’, I really mean ‘yes’. A girl always want a gift.”

Chris admitted that his was an amateur mistake. “I should have known better. This isn’t my first rodeo. It was my third. And this time I didn’t just fall off the horse. I was the rodeo clown. I got gored by the proverbial bull of women’s expectations.”

Julie has reportedly revoked her gift of kiss me coupons to Chris. “If he wants to act like he’s single, I’ll make him feel like he’s single. Every idiot knows you gotta pay if you wanna play. But he won’t be playing anytime soon.”

Chris was spotted at the local lingerie shop getting an afterthought gift, which is fully expected to blow up in his face.