Updated: Nov 23, 2020
Vice President-elect Kamala Harris is ecstatic after the media declared The Harris-Biden campaign the winners in this year’s presidential election. A giddy Kamala Harris was seen crossing off the days on her calendar, counting down until something big.
A large circle around January 21st with “Inauguration Day!!!!” written around it could be seen on her calendar. Penguin reporters asked Mrs. Harris why January 21st was circled because January 20th is the presidential inauguration this year. “Oh, no reason,” Kamala Harris responded. “But you’ll find out soon enough,” she whispered sinisterly under her breath before cackling into laughter.
When pressed for further clarification Mrs. Harris only stated "(she) had to leave to install a system update" and had to "recharge her battery." Penguin reporters were confused at why this would preclude her from answering further questions...
It is unclear at this time, but The Penguin believes she is plotting to kill of or otherwise incapacitate Joe Biden shortly after inauguration. Written on the bottom of her calendar were the words, “Epstein really didn’t kill himself” and Hillary Clinton’s phone number. More to follow as The Penguin continues its investigation.