Updated: Oct 13, 2020
WASHINTON - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was last seen at Target trying to buy a giant suitcase in which to "pack the court." When confronted about her activity, the Speaker claimed that she was incredibly embarrassed to be seen at Target.
"I tried ordering the luggage from Louis Vuitton," she said in a press conference, "But they were already too busy trying to fulfill my order for a covid mask made out of 101 Dalmatians."
The Speaker was allegedly caught on a hidden camera and is now threatening to sue Target for enticing her with rock-bottom prices.
Unfortunately for her, Target had just sold their last giant suitcase to Joe Biden to hide in in case he is ever asked a difficult question. Brookstone was cleaned out as well.
Always adaptable, the Democrats decided to just build their own giant suitcase on the floor of the House of Representatives. The luggage will be able to fit 15 Supreme Court Justices and will be made entirely out of shreds of the Constitution.
"This bad boy can fit so many activist judges!" Pelosi exclaimed, slapping the lid on Justice Clarence Thomas as he desperately tried to escape.