LITTLE SAINT JAMES, U.S. Virgin Islands - Parades swept Little Saint James today as House Democrats announced their plans to grant statehood to Jeffrey Epstein's small pedophile safe haven.
"If Trump is going to break the law and appoint a Justice according to the Constitution, then we'll make sure Republicans never win an election again," said 2016 popular vote winner and presidential loser, Hillary Clinton, who is helping to broker the deal. "We knew that Little Saint James would be voting democrat for 100 years."
Former President Bill Clinton also spoke, adding that though he had never heard of Little Saint James or had relations with Jeffrey Epstein, he was hopeful to see another state added to the Union as well as two more Democratic Senators.
Little Saint James is just one of many new states proposed by the House of Representatives in case Trump's Supreme Court Justice is confirmed by the Republican Senate. Other candidates include California being split into ten states, CHAZ/CHOP, China and Iran, all of which support Biden for the presidency.
"This is the day the fine citizens of Little Saint James have been dreaming of," said Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell, "Or as we say in the islands, 'No molestation without representation.'"