Democrats propose increasing Supreme Court to 435 justices

WASHINGTON - House Democrats propose increasing the Supreme Court to a whopping 435 justices, The Penguin has learned. The legislation was proposed by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi yesterday as a reaction against the Senate confirmation of Justice Amy Coney Barrett.

"If the president wants to defy all norms and precedent by ramming a Supreme Court nominee through a Senate controlled by his own party during an election year, an unthinkable abomination that has only succeeded 29 times out of the 29 times it has been attempted," said Pelosi clutching her pearls, "Then we are well within our right to add 426 new justices to the bench."

Some democratic congressmen admitted that at first, they took no issue with Trump naming a successor to the late Justice Ginsberg. But once the pick was revealed to be a Catholic mother of seven, who identifies as a Constitutional Originalist, all bets were off.

"The only thing I hate more than Christians is the Constitution," said Senator Chuck Schumer.

Pelosi claims that the idea to pack the court to 435 was originally hinted at back in November of 2018 when AOC said "If we work our butts off to make sure that we take back all three chambers of Congress — Uh, rather all three chambers of government: the presidency, the Senate, and the House."

"My biggest gripe with our original governmental structure is that only the Legislature was given power to legislate," said Pelosi in a speech on the House floor, "Thankfully President Obama fixed the broken Executive branch by legislating via executive order and now it is our turn to open up the same privilege to an increasingly numerous body of unelected lifetime appointees. That is true democracy."