Correction: Media didn't declare Biden winner, It was Madea


Underground Bunker Below The Sanguine Penguin Headquarters - The Sanguine Penguin would like to correct a dangerous piece of misinformation that has been spreading around the internet - it was Madea, not the media, that declared Joe Biden the winner of the 2020 presidential race.


Mabel "Madea" Simmons, a known criminal and cultural agitator, is simply up to her old tricks.


"I just wanted to start some drama, y'all! You shoulda seen the looks on ya faces! You was like 'What!? Biden won!? What we gon' do?" The geriatric, self-declared OG comically fell out of her chair laughing and muttering a mixture of foul language and misquoted Bible verses.


This is not the first time the media was blamed for something Ms. Simmons said, and, according to her, it probably will not be the last. "I'm just tryin' to have a goot time up in here. Hellur! When I say my name, I don't stutter! It's 'M-A to the D-E-A'. Don't be givin' credit to no Don Lemon or nobody for something I said. I'm Madea! I'll bust a fool!"


Asked if she actually believed Biden would actually win, she stated, "Don't know. Don't care. I just want to keep my medical marijuana card and Joe seems like he knows a thing or two about drugs. Know what I'm sayin'? Joe Blow," she chuckled to herself and repeated it in a lower voice, "Joe Blow."


We here at the Sanguine Penguin are dedicated to offering fake news you can trust and could not sit idly by while such lies were peddled. While the media is not directly responsible for this misinformation, we suggest you continue to get your news from the Sanguine Penguin - Real Fake News.

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