CHRISTIANSBURG, VA – Every Fall, Christiansburg Assembly of God puts on a well-attended Harvest Festival complete with hayrides, candy, and a Trunk-or-Treat contest. But this year, the Pentecostal Church has gone the extra mile and set up a haunted house for their popular Halloween alternative.
“The decision has had its share of controversy,” commented head pastor, Reverend Harold Byers, “But ultimately it will draw in a wider range of folks and expose them to the Word, and isn’t that what it’s all about?”
Little did the event attendees know that the line for the attraction was actually just a direct route into the church’s sanctuary where each patron entered into the divine presence of the Holy Spirit.
“All of these folks looking for cheap scares need to realize, the only thing they should fear is the Lord their God,” cackled Reverend Byers ominously as the chorus of “Holy Spirit Rain Down” echoed off the walls behind him.
Reports say that visiting Baptists were terrified by the display: Scores of their fellow Christians speaking in unknown tongues, prophesying, and being slain in the Spirit.