Chris Pratt Banished To PureFlix


LOS ANGELES, Calif. - Megastar Chris Pratt recently came under fire for his controversial conservative views. He has since been exiled from Hollywood and was picked up by the only studio that could possibly benefit from his unpopularity - Pure Flix.


Over the last few years, the Marvel alum has slowly expressed his growing faith with little resistance, until he decided to forego an online rally for presidential candidate Joe Biden. The faux pas of declining to blindly participate in a liberal event proved to be his Achilles's heel.


When asked a week ago what he would do about future employment, Chris was optimistic. "It's Hollywood, something always turns up." But then Pureflix co-founder David AR White called. 


"He was like, 'hey buddy, ever wanted to work with Kevin Sorbo?," Pratt recalled, "and I was like 'Who?' and he said, 'You know, the guy from Hercules back in the 90s?' and I was like, 'Oh yeah, that guy! Um, never really thought of it. Who am I talking to?' He told me his name and I was like, 'Who?' and he said, 'remember that show Evening Shade?' and I was like 'No man, sorry."


"Anyway, after failing 'six degrees to Kevin Bacon', he gave up and told me about his studio and got me all pumped. I binged a bunch of Pureflix movies and thought, 'Heck yeah, I'll be the most talented guy there! I'm in!"


Pratt's Pure Flix debut will be a Sci-fi superhero film entitled “Protectors of the Kingdom" in which he will play a character named "Spaceguy."

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