California Legalizes Incest Because Screw It, Why Not?

Calif. - California has once again led America to a new age as it is set to become the first state to legalize incest. Betting lines had West Virginia and Alabama as clear favorites, but the Golden State has once again proved its progressive mettle by jumping right to the point.

California politicians had thought the new law was still decades away. However, after passing SB145 which allows Californians to rape children as young as 14 without registering as a sex offender, lawmakers rightfully assumed the law would pass without much opposition.

HB1154, the bill legalizing marriage and sexual intercourse between parents and children and between brothers and sisters, passed along party lines. All 61 Democratic state representatives voted in favor and every single Republican voted against. The vote was similarly split in the state senate and is now on Governor Gavin Newsom’s desk awaiting a signature.

California state representative and bill sponsor, James Lannister, gave a rousing speech shortly after passing the bill saying, “This historic legislation is exactly in line with the values of California. It goes hand in hand with our other progressive milestones such as the normalization of pedophilia and taxpayer funded abortions. California will no longer deny anyone the right to marry or procreate with whomever they choose, even if that is your own brother because in California, we are all brothers and sisters of progress!”

The crowd that had gathered on the steps of the capitol to witness the historic passage erupted in a chorus of “Yassss! Slay!” and chants of “L-G-B-T-Q! We want to sleep with siblings too!”