Updated: Sep 30, 2020
WASHINGTON - Marxists deposited a giant wooden horse on the White House Lawn, the Penguin has learned. The lifeless statue looked non-threatening enough, with four wooden legs and the head of a confused but friendly grandpa.
But unbeknownst to the public, a gaggle of leftist politicians crouched inside the hollowed out belly of the beast, poised for attack once the horse was rolled into the Oval Office.
"They think they're voting for a return to normalcy, a 1990s style classic liberal" said Senator Bernie Sanders (VT-D), "But actually, they'll be getting abortion on demand up to birth, infringements of the First and Second Amendments, unrestricted borders, and the disintegration of the nuclear family and the church paving the way for a Marxist upheaval akin to the 1918 Bolshevik takeover of Russia which launched an ideology responsible for the deaths of 100 million people. Oh, and we'll pay for it all by taxing 80% of their income."
When the horse was reached for comment, he just let out one long "neigh" and muttered something about "just being happy to be invited."