NORTH HERO, Vt. - Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders is reportedly trying to get his foot in the door with the Biden administration for a revised cabinet role as Secretary of Labor Camps.
His initial bid for renaming the position of Homeland Security Secretary to “Gulag Secretary” was shot down. After a little retooling, Sanders came back with “Secretary of Labor Camps” instead of the Secretary of Labor which Biden then said he would consider.
“It is critical that we change the infrastructure of the United States government’s handling of labor affairs,” the former presidential hopeful stated. “For far too long, we have allowed labor unions and private employers to dictate what conditions American workers perform under. No longer. It is high time we honored the tradition of labor camps.”
“I hope that under Joe Biden’s leadership we can finally see some progress in this area. American workers deserve the benefit of work programs designed to garner results instead of continuing the mad cycle of failure we have seen for decades. If I become Secretary of Labor Camps, I guarantee the production of the greatest labor force this motherland has ever seen."
Sanders concluded by sharing that if this proposal also falls flat he will seek to edge his way into Biden's cabinet by reforming the outdated office of Education Secretary into the more necessary office of Reeducation Secretary.