Andrew Cuomo finishes out 2020 by dropping the ball one last time

New York, NY - From winning an Emmy, to contributing to the death of thousands of nursing home residents, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has certainly had a big year in 2020. His mishandling of the pandemic and disastrous employment of New York’s government to place the second most populous state on a virtual house arrest have been historic mistakes. To close out the year, it is only fitting the Governor Cuomo should drop the ball one last time.

That is why on New Years’ Eve, Governor Cuomo has been chose for the honors of pressing the button that will drop the ball in Times Square signifying the New Year. This year’s ball will be shaped like a giant coronavirus cell and will descend from high atop an ivory tower erected in Times Square. The tower was built out of ivory to honor some of the most tragic victims of the chaos of 2020; endangered elephants in Africa of course. At the base of the tower, designers have placed a mock-up of a nursing home where figurines of grandparents sit frightened in wheelchairs and rockers below. At exactly midnight, the ball will reach the bottom, where it will crush the elderly sculptures, ringing in 2021.

Andrew Cuomo will watch the spectacle from within the ivory tower where he will be joined by numerous other prominent figures. Joining him will be his brother, CNN anchor Andrew Cuomo, Mayor Bill de Blasio, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and Dr. Anthony Fauci, among others.

Construction crews have been hard at work for weeks to construct the apparatus, having been deemed essential by Governor Cuomo. “Nothing is more important than dropping the ball at the beginning of 2021,” he says, “Nothing.”