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Sanguine Penguin
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News
All National Guard members removed from inauguration duty because they voted for Trump
Biden promises to release hostages dangling over boiling lava if Batman will vote blue
CDC hires Harvey Dent to decide who gets vaccine
Politics
Donald Trump wins participation trophy for running a “really good campaign,” but still losing.
All National Guard members removed from inauguration duty because they voted for Trump
Biden promises to release hostages dangling over boiling lava if Batman will vote blue
Opinion
My Gen Z Brother writes an episode of Downton Abbey
Oped from a turkey: Chicken tastes delicious and is the perfect choice for your Thanksgiving dinner
OP-ED by Joe Biden's Teleprompter
Sports
NASCAR hires Al Sharpton, Barack Obama, Shaun King to implement “Critical Race-Car Theory”
LA Lakers hire Jackie Moon in desperate bid for relevancy
Presidential Debate replaced with Presidential Socker Boppers Fight
Entertainment
California executes Prof. Oak for misgendering hate crime
Biden promises to release hostages dangling over boiling lava if Batman will vote blue
Netflix to option this Sanguine Penguin article for new original series
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