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NASCAR hires Al Sharpton, Barack Obama, Shaun King to implement “Critical Race-Car Theory”
Nicholas Connolly
  • Nov 13, 2020
  • 2 min

NASCAR hires Al Sharpton, Barack Obama, Shaun King to implement “Critical Race-Car Theory”

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - NASCAR has made waves by hiring three of the nation’s top leaders in race-relations. Al Sharpton, Barack Obama, and...
303 views0 comments
LA Lakers hire Jackie Moon in desperate bid for relevancy
Nicholas Connolly
  • Oct 9, 2020
  • 1 min

LA Lakers hire Jackie Moon in desperate bid for relevancy

LOS ANGELES, Calif. - NBA ratings are wildly down this year as jaded viewers have tuned out the woke sports league. But the Los Angeles...
50 views0 comments
Presidential Debate replaced with Presidential Socker Boppers Fight
Nicholas Connolly
  • Sep 28, 2020
  • 1 min

Presidential Debate replaced with Presidential Socker Boppers Fight

CLEVELAND, Ohio - The Trump and Biden campaigns have agreed to forgo the presidential debates. Instead, the candidates will engage in a...
151 views0 comments
MADDEN CURSE: Kaepernick breaks knees after being added to Madden '21 cover
Sanguine Penguin
  • Sep 9, 2020
  • 1 min

MADDEN CURSE: Kaepernick breaks knees after being added to Madden '21 cover

SAN JOSE, Calif. - Former '49ers Quarterback and current unemployed person, Colin Kaepernick has broken both of his knees, the Penguin...
113 views0 comments
CNN Softball Team Protests 0-0 Loss to FOX NEWS
Sanguine Penguin
  • Sep 8, 2020
  • 1 min

CNN Softball Team Protests 0-0 Loss to FOX NEWS

NEW YORK - In an annual softball game between the CNN and FOX News channel on-camera personalities, CNN abruptly left the field after...
54 views0 comments
China Up and Buys the NBA Just to Clear Up Any Confusion
Nicholas Connolly
  • Aug 28, 2020
  • 2 min

China Up and Buys the NBA Just to Clear Up Any Confusion

BEIJING, China - In a massive deal, China has just purchased the entire NBA. This marks one of the largest business transactions in the...
590 views0 comments
OP-ED from the kid who got cut from his varsity basketball team to make room for a golden retriever
Sanguine Penguin
  • Aug 27, 2020
  • 2 min

OP-ED from the kid who got cut from his varsity basketball team to make room for a golden retriever

My name is Gerald Robinson and I was cut from my high school basketball team to make room for a golden retriever named Buddy, more...
46 views0 comments
Martial artist opens Krav M.A.G.A. studio to own the libs
Sanguine Penguin
  • Aug 10, 2020
  • 1 min

Martial artist opens Krav M.A.G.A. studio to own the libs

AUSTIN, Texas - After watching 96 consecutive hours of Fox News, local conservative, Zach Johnson, came up with a solution about how to...
126 views0 comments
“Oppression Olympics” go as scheduled
Sanguine Penguin
  • Jul 31, 2020
  • 2 min

“Oppression Olympics” go as scheduled

Portland, OR. - Despite fears of being canceled due to Covid, the opening ceremonies for this year's “Oppression Olympics” will go on as...
16 views0 comments

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