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Donald Trump wins participation trophy for running a “really good campaign,” but still losing.

Chris Hansen waiting for Joe Biden as he enters the oval office for the first time as president

All National Guard members removed from inauguration duty because they voted for Trump

Uighur Muslims in China take knee for BLM: “The Americans are truly oppressed”

California executes Prof. Oak for misgendering hate crime

Biden promises to release hostages dangling over boiling lava if Batman will vote blue

Captain Jack Sparrow declares "COVID-19 rules are really more like guidelines anyways"

AOC Graciously Offers To Pay People For Not Working

Andrew Cuomo finishes out 2020 by dropping the ball one last time

CDC hires Harvey Dent to decide who gets vaccine

Child floods market with holiday hug coupons, devalues currency

Rudolph comes down with COVID-19, who will guide Santa’s sleigh tonight?

Husband fails to read in terms and conditions of wife’s “no gifts this year” statement

Amazon releases Echo Chamber just in time for Christmas

Biden proposes reversal Of Louisiana Purchase

Life on Mars really just clump of cells

Arby’s unveils new “Impossumable Burger,” the burger that is 73% possum

REVEALED: Delilah actually cut Samson’s hair because it was a man bun

Broke family's ‘Trashy Chic’ Christmas decorations trending on Pinterest

Local veterinarian canceled for insisting dogs can't see color